Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Speaker A: Well, welcome. Welcome to the Speak Your Power Now podcast, a show that empowers women through the transformational art of communication. I'm your host, Cheryl Clark, and I invite you to join us on a journey of self discovery, empowerment, and personal growth. You know, I always say I'm just a girl from the Bronx. I learned a couple of tools along the way, and I'm here to them with you. So this weekly podcast is going to be a source of practical tips, inspiring stories, and transformational insight that's going to help you break through to any self doubt. So our mission is simple here. We're going to help you speak your Power now because your voice matters. So subscribe now, and let's dive into the world of Speak Your Power Now, where your empowerment begins with your voice.
[00:00:52] Speaker B: Well, welcome to another insightful episode of Speak Your Power Now. I'm your host, Cheryl Clark, and let's get right into it. Well, this episode is going to be right up your alley. The inner critic. Before we get started, I always go first, head first into our Speak Your Power declaration. So come on and join me as we go forth in our Speak Your Power declaration.
Once you begin to take a nice, long, deep breath, in through the nostrils and exhale it out, take a nice, long, salt, deep breath in through the nostrils once again and exhale. Repeat silently to yourself after me speak Your Power Now declaration.
Today I reclaim my power of purpose.
Today I declare that I have unshakable faith and confidence in my uniqueness.
Today I declare that I will not live in fear, but with power, love, and a sound mind.
Today, I declare that I always communicate with words to empower myself and others.
Today, I declare to always honor myself by living in the present and living powerfully in each moment. Amen.
Now, that declaration I start, because when you begin to look and see how you show up, how you declare it, how you're going to claim it, well, that declaration keeps us on point. Well, this episode today is going to be an empowering one. I feel like I always say, I'm a girl from the Bronx with a couple of tools that come by to share each week with you. So the journey that we're embarking on that I look at a lot of times when people even come to my office, they see me a lot of times. They talk about their inner critic. They talk about their narratives that they may have about themselves, and what are they? I always show them they can craft a new empowering story. I talk a little bit about my narrative of why I started this podcast and why I went on a journey of mastering my communication as a woman, as a mother, as a wife. Just in the corporate world, you kind of lose your voice through certain things. Even as a black woman, you lose your voice and the tool of understanding your voice is the tool and the key that unlocks certain things that may happen and certain things that may go on. The narrative that we have of ourselves and the narrative that we may be looking in the mirror. So the person in the mirror, when you look at the person in the mirror, what does that say about you? What are you saying about you when you look in the mirror? I've always been chubby and all my life I don't ever remember being skinny, always had some meat on my bones. And I remember growing up and my grandfather, bless his heart, he would give me such encouragement because I was raised in a house and a very emotionally abusive stepfather and he kind of like did something to my self esteem growing up a little bit. And as me going into high school, middle school actually was the one where I was fat, I wasn't cute and I wasn't just chubby, I was the fat girl. So when you look in the mirror so that time I said what am I going to do with this? So I was never ashamed of my body, but I was very much so had acceptance issues of my body. And I remember really being able to that inner critic in my head talking like you're too fat for that, you're too ugly for that, you're too whatever for that inner talk about. And sometimes that inner talk really does show up a lot of times so deeply getting ingrained to how you were raised in your past really has a lot to do with how you see yourself. So the image in the mirror has a huge part of your journey of acceptance. So the mirror work that I do is that you will go in the mirror, really look at yourself and have an opportunity to see who you are. And it's not just the image in the mirror but it's what you say in your head about yourself. And it's difficult at times, challenging at times to start to look at yourself. Some people can't look at themselves and they begin to look at themselves in a way that distorts the image in the mirror. And when you are seeing yourself in a way that is not accepting and difficult, I want you to know that you can be healed and you can get some tools surrounding that because that is their inner critic speaking loudly to you. That is your thoughts of what you are thinking about yourself. And a lot of times it cause anxiety and things of that nature. And you may have heard of body dysmorphia. That is a real diagnosis. When you look at yourself and you think you're ugly, you're unattractive, something's abnormal on you.
You may perceive like you have a lot of flaws and they could be minimal to someone else, but they are very much so highlighted on you. So those perceptions of who you are and it becomes a point where now it takes over your life. So those are the things that you go into, but just the normal looking in the mirror, seeing that you may not like yourself and things like that, you can experience those things because of what you may have dealt with in the past, bullying and things of that nature. So I just want to just to normalize that.
I like reality. TTV sometimes when I'm not working. And I was watching something the other day that was kind of disturbing to me.
I was watching Love and Hip Hop Atlanta and I watched two women of color get triggered in the moment. It was believe it was Erica and yeah, it was Erica and Spice. And one of the things that was said is I think I believe Spice was talking about her mother being a mother and her child doesn't like her. And then Erica got so upset that she threw a table and began to have racial slurs.
She said she calls her a monkey.
And both of them were triggered and they began to go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth with these words that now people are looking at them and how they're responding.
When you are triggered by anything, you are going to go and you're going to begin to try to protect yourself.
And the first thing that happened in that moment is that I want to emphasize is that it's important to become present in the moment of your inner critic because a lot of us don't recognize how we are even showing up. I'm like yo. I'm like, oh my goodness, what is happening here? It's like when someone says something to you that's criticizing you. So she felt like somebody was being judgmental, criticizing herself, criticizing her parenting skills, diminishing her, and she probably gets this left, right and center.
Now, just so you know for the context, the young lady, Erica that gave the racial slurs, she has black children, her children are black and Hispanic. So I'm saying this the first step for anyone. When you feel like you're triggered in the moment, can ask yourself, can you walk away?
Can you take control of your narrative and walk away?
Ask yourself that question.
Because when someone says something to you, those galloping horses of words you cannot get back, words hurt.
That's when you look at the narrative because your words hurt. And that's why I said speak your power is the thing that really got me to a point where I said I needed to find my voice again.
And that I don't have to be angry, I don't have to be aggressive, I don't have to yell at anybody, I don't have to bully anybody to get what I need to meet my needs.
And that right there in the moment, she was out, both of them were triggered. They were out of the space there was no rationale. Everyone was in the moment, and they were coming to protect themselves. And that's what happens when you're triggered and the inner critic in your head, the inner critic in your head is saying, oh, no, I got to protect myself. Oh, no. This concept of what she I feel judged. I feel like criticized. And what starts to happen, you start to go right into what your protective mode? So what do you do? You start yelling. It's got something that you do. You start screaming. It's got something that you do. Some people do walk away.
Some people may get revenge. Some people may you may do a lot of things. It's just recognizing what you do.
So I want to unpack something with you today.
Your narratives is important.
Your narratives is the thing that even if you're not saying anything and you're looking in that mirror, you're saying a lot in your head, because your inner critic is the thing that's inside of you.
That inner critic. That is the thing.
I want to challenge you right now to transform your limiting narratives. That's probably holding you back, that's probably got you flipping tables, that's probably got you screaming and yelling. That's probably got you that concept of how do I now build with a sense of unmasking that inner critic? Because you may not understand.
So let's unmask the inner critic right now. Now, I always say that when you unmask your inner critic, it's going to bring awareness.
It's going to bring awareness for you to begin to recognize and understand that voice, that inner critic voice.
And then you will begin to gain power. How to silence, not kill the inner critic, but silence the inner critic to take more control over your narrative.
Because once you begin to unmask it, then you could bring to awareness to it. So let's do this a little bit. I want you to begin firstly, your voice inside of you, it may be critical, judgmental, self sabotage and all of that.
And what it can do. It can hamper your self esteem, your confidence, and even your action. It can make you even stop, right? So let's look at how you can begin to understand what the inner critic looks like and how you can gain power. The first thing I want you to write down let me just write the first one awareness.
Awareness teaches you how important it is to be present, because when we're triggered, like those two young ladies was, they were not present.
So the awareness is it makes you conscious of your critical voice. It makes you conscious of how to address them, what to say and what not to say and how to do it effectively.
The second thing, the first step is transformation, okay? Transforming how the awareness shows up going to highlight the awareness, right? And when your initial step that you're going to take is to begin to transform those thoughts without awareness. You can't transform anything.
So whenever it comes up that you can I won't. I will. It never will. All of this stuff. I want you to begin to shift it into a positive thought, positive words.
I will do that.
I'm moving towards that. Those are things that you can put into place.
Then once you are transforming the words, it's like reframing the word. I want you to understand your inner critic, because the inner critic is you. You are fighting you.
Yes, the inner critic is nobody but yourself.
So once you have identified, understand, and look, give a little understanding, you've been going through a whole lot. You may have gone through a rough childhood. You may have gone through some trauma, something.
I want you to give yourself the recognition and understand that how you operate through your thoughts and your feelings is recognizing your patterns and your triggers.
And those patterns and triggers may be disempowering you and diminishing how and the actions that you're taking.
So once you are aware, once you are attempted to transform the words, then once you recognize, you're combating yourself and understanding the silence, how to silence yourself, I want you to begin to look at how the actions that you're going to take what is my actions that I'm going to take? What is my thoughts, that I'm going to say? What is my narrative that I'm saying? What is my self talk?
What am I saying? Because your self perception of what you're saying, you've got to begin to take control over your narrative. Lastly, take control over your narrative.
Now, the narrative is your story.
Your narrative is what you're telling yourself. Your narrative, you may not be conscious. That is shaping your present day. It's shaping how you see yourself. It's shaping your self worth.
So when you're looking to understand how you could begin to go through the process and regain control over your own self perception, it looks as though you may not understand someone or someone else's thought.
But as you begin to look and raise awareness in yourself and how as you begin to have a little empathy for yourself and others, I want you to begin to put yourself in someone else's shoes.
And I want you to begin to look and see how your words, how you're communicating, how you can begin to move in a sense of diminishing others because you have been diminished, possibly.
I want to begin to look at a different alternative here.
So I want to encourage you to begin to look and use your words for power.
I want you to begin to use your words with clear, concise communication. You know, when I talk about the three C's, they'd be clear, concise, and complete.
And when you begin to look at this, I want you to begin to look at yourself in the mirror, and I want you to begin, if you can, look at yourself in the mirror and I want you to say positive things. Cheryl, I love your smile.
Cheryl, I love your eyes. I love your teeth. I love my breath.
I love my hips. I love my voice. You know, there was a time I didn't love my voice and that's why I said to a lot of people, I do this because this was something that I was challenged in growing up in the hood. I had to understand there's some challenges that I had to go through and I had to understand that if personal tax come to you, how do I stay in the space that I can stay empowered?
How can I stay empowered in my own self?
And I'm an advocate for therapy, coach whatever you need to begin to bring awareness to how you are showing up, how you see yourself so positively reframing your message of who you are in the world can begin to move you down to a space where you could begin to speak and move with power.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this episode like I did. It was a pleasure coming to you today. And as always, this is an opportunity for you to get connected with me and stay connected with me. And we have a lot of podcasts coming down the pipe, so stay connected and remember, sometimes your life is defined by one single moment. Let that moment be today. Peace and God bless.
[00:20:25] Speaker C: Well, thank you for tuning in to another empowering episode of Speak Your Power Now podcast. We hope you found inspiration and valuable insight on your journey of self expression. Remember, the power of communication is in your hands. And by honing on to this skill, you're going to unlock a world of possibilities. Your journey doesn't end here. Stay connected with us on social media where we are going to continue the conversation and share your own stories of empowerment. So if you enjoyed this episode today.
[00:21:02] Speaker B: Don'T forget to hit us up.
[00:21:04] Speaker C: Subscribe, leave your review and share it with your friends. Also, feel free to share your thoughts with any questions or ideas you may.
[00:21:14] Speaker B: Have for future episodes.
[00:21:15] Speaker C: Together, we're going to build a community of confident communicators.
[00:21:20] Speaker B: As we wrap up, always remember that.
[00:21:22] Speaker C: Your voice has power to inspire, to uplift, and to encourage and change. Keep speaking your truth and empowering yourself and embrace the power within. Until next time, remember, your life is defined by one single moment.
[00:21:36] Speaker B: Let that moment be today.
You down in the healing.
